Sunday 20 February 2011

What is the plural of Weetabix?


A previous post concerning a pair of licentious Weetabix generated a huge postbag. There was no prurience, I hasten to say; the question was whether I was correct to use  ' Weetabix '  as the plural form.

  • Surely it should be  ' One Weetabix '  /  ' Two Weetabixes ', many asserted.

  • Others are aficionados of  ' One Weetabik '  /  ' Two Weetabix '.

  • I'm afraid to say a few make the common error of using  ' Weetabi '  as the plural form.

  • Latin scholars point to 'one matrix' / 'two matrices' to claim the plural is in fact 
    ' Weetabices '.

It is my duty once and for all to clear up this common cause of contention in households across the land. There is no such thing as the singular form, because nobody ever eats just one. There is only  ' Weetabix '.

In the next grammar lesson, I shall consider the adjectival form  ' Weetabixy '  ("this unfamiliar cereal looks a bit Weetabixy") and the usage of  ' Weetabixish '  on those common occasions when approximations to the well-loved cereal are encountered.

Saturday 19 February 2011

Sugar Puffs in the Upper Palaeolithic


I expect you read the paper published this week describing bowls fashioned out of skulls that had been discovered in a Late Stone Age site in Somerset. This provides the long-awaited answer to the mystery of what receptacles were used by the Cro-Magnon for their Sugar Puffs.

How better to commemorate a recently departed relation than to carve their skull into a delightful breakfast bowl? Tucking in to your cereal from her scraped out head would have provided a lovely daily reminder of dear Auntie Kate.

Cut marks in the skulls reveal how people 14,700 years ago created the bowls by removing the brain and other tissue and then skilfully shaping the bone to prevent accidental spillage of their Sugar Puffs on the cave floor.

Originally the bowl would have borne an image of the Honey Monster, or perhaps Tony the Sabre-Toothed Tiger. Extensive use of the bowl has unfortunately resulted in the original image rubbing off.

Monday 14 February 2011

Valentine's Day Breakfast Special

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a couple of Weetabix for breakfast gets you in the mood for love and romance. I experience a thrilling stirring of the loins whenever I encounter the distinctive yellow box in the breakfast cupboard.

However, for a fruity aphrodisiacal treat that really stimulates the juices in the morning, here are detailed instructions for a particularly passionate muesli. Eat it with your Valentine.

Step 1: Pick your ingredients
Step 2: Get chopping
Step 3: One I prepared earlier

Friday 11 February 2011

Breakfast porn

Breakfast was a bit disturbing this morning. I'm still feeling a little flustered when I think back on it.

You will recall from my previous post that I prefer my Weetabix to be secreted under a sensible blanket of All Bran. Today I was feeling impulsive, so I omitted the bran. As soon as I sat down, spoon in hand, I realised my mistake. The Weetabix were completely naked. Nothing covering their modesty but a faint sprinkling of soft brown sugar.

 
I was shocked. I hesitate to attach such a graphic photo, given that this is a family blog, but really I didn't think you'd believe me if I failed to show just how provocative these straddling Weetabix were. You'll be pleased to know I acted decisively, separating the audacious duo and quickly drenching them in cold milk. Thankfully that did the trick and they went soft straightaway. Phew.

This was all a bit racey for a Friday morning. In future I'll think twice before recklessly deviating from my carefully thought-out routine.

Wednesday 9 February 2011

Lunch in Camden Town

Actually it wasn't Camden Town, it was Primrose Hill. At least that's what Margot insisted when she dragged me there. The area certainly didn't seem to have the same high class as Camden High Street.

Dan was a bit peeved not to be joining us for lunch, as you can clearly see in this detailed portrait of his glowering face as the gondolier glided Margot and me past his window and down the Grand Canal.

Breakfast in Camden Town, NY

Last week I was in New York City. How to top that? Inspiration hit me and today I headed down to Camden Town for that sky-scraping, big-city, bright-lights buzz. The glamour and spaciousness of Camden Town tube station recalls Grand Central; wandering down Camden High Street I feel the glitz of  Fifth Avenue; and the Pret A Manger appears to be the sort of place in which to experience that Katz's Deli "I'll have what she's having" moment.

Breakfast this morning was provided by Caffè Nero. Their logo famously reads 'Nerd', making this my sort of place. A Starbucks branch is right opposite. Did you know Nerd differentiate themselves from the ubiquitous Starbucks by attempting to create a local atmosphere for each shop, for instance encouraging the manager to choose their own music? Unfortunately I failed to recognise the music this branch manager had selected as typifying Camden style.

To remind myself I'm in the New York of North London, I decided on an Americano, which I enjoyed in the company of Dan in the bustling 'Darwins'.

Tuesday 8 February 2011

Boring conference

How did I manage to miss Boring 2010, "a boring conference taking place in London" in December? Apparently the pub near the venue sells 'Breakfast Pie' - a full English breakfast in a pie. I'm sure that deserved a write-up.

I wish I had been present for the talk on car park roofs. Totally inspired.

Culture Mix


An interesting start to the day. This may look like a simple bowl of All Bran, but after the crunch of the initial mouthful what a pleasure to break through to the contrasting softness of two Weetabix daringly hidden beneath. If that dual delight isn't invigorating enough, I then have a third experience to savour: the amalgum of softened wheat and bran into which the meal inevitably transforms.

I am also left wondering at the aggregate of American and British cereals in the same bowl, a pre-echo of the soft and crunchy Anglo-American culture-mix in which I shall immerse myself today.

Monday 7 February 2011

Breakfast Report

Here's my first Breakfast Report, coming to you straight from the Hyatt Hotel on 42nd Street NYC. Full marks for the frosted flakes, which came served in a bowl (no annoying packs to open) with the milk in its own little jug. Croissants are fresh and a good texture, though the Pain au Chocolat loses a couple of marks because the chocolate is not evenly spread inside. Hmm, no marmalade. Yes, I'm a Brit (temporarily) in New York.